1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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