she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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