i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
