i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
