I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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