didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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