some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
