do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He shit in the fireplace
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
