I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
