i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
