quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
