I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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