I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize