i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
