I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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