I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
