Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
