you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
