dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize