I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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