i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Randomize
