WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
