Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
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I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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