please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
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It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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