And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We are two peas in an std pod
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
