I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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