I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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