Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My vagina is very pro this idea
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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