he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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