Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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