1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
