I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Did you pee in the oven last night??
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
