he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
