Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
