im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Text me some of your sweat
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
