its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
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She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
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I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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