Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
