I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
