i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm always down for nudity.
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