you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
