If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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