***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
