sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize