Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
