I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
