I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
