Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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