loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
