i think i have herpe
just one?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I believe in your delicious
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
