Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
