I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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