Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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