I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
