Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
