so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You've changed since you got that strap on
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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