So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize