I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
