Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
