my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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