A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
