the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
is that a dick in a sweater?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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