You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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