I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
