did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
