just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
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i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
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He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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