Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
